Red Raskin and The Waiting Continues

Upon leaving the mall, the same day of the CT Scan, we head back to Dr. Kalter's office with the intent of picking up the order for the next set of more detailed tests (an MRI). While driving the 3 or 4 miles to the doctor's office, I realize fully what is happening. We are checking to see how serious this thing in Jack's head really is. I also began to think about how Kalter went about giving us the news. It read like a really bad joke, one of those, "I've got good news and I've got bad news..." jokes. In reality, he only had bad news. We didn't know what they were looking for originally because we were never overtly told. Therefore, finding out they didn't find fluid in the brain was like finding out Jack wasn't a girl.

Susie and I discussed switching pediatricians once this whole drama is over. Susie at this point appeared stunned and I felt as if I was suddenly getting energy from a different place. It was as if adrenaline had taken over. I actually felt like running with Jack and Susie and hiding from all that had transpired.

Finally, we got to Kalter's office. I went in while Susie stayed in the car with Jack. The receptionist greeted me as I went in. I told her I was there to pick up an order for an MRI. She handed me the order and told me to call and set the appointment. I asked if we needed a reference number which the receptionist deferred to another woman who said quickly, "no, you shouldn't". I said, "Are you sure?" and preceded to tell her about Susie's struggles in getting the CT scan set up. I didn't realize it, but, these women had joined the conspiracy unbeknownst to me.

I need to back up. When Susie attempted to schedule the initial CT scan a week before the MRI, she was run around from hospital to doctor's office several times before actually being able to set an appointment. In fact, she was told our insurance required a reference number by the hospital, then told by the doctor's office they would call her back, was never called back after several attempts to get this done, and finally was called back after I spoke with someone at Kalter's office. Not until after several phone calls was Susie able to get the CT scheduled; all of this while being worried as hell about what was wrong with Jack in the first place.

This next time, I recapped the incident with the CT and my wife being run around. Even the receptionist echoed my wifes experience to the other staff members. The mysterious woman who obtains reference numbers assured me that we could either use the old reference number or at the very least I could call back and she would get a new one for me if requested by the hospital. For some reason I left. I guess I wanted to trust someone and had forgotten my own theory about people and their selfish/evil ways.

I got back out to the car, Susie was walking Jack in the parking lot as he was hungry at this point and crying. She strapped him back in and we headed home. I called to schedule the MRI as I was driving and Susie was attempting to console our baby in the backseat. Quickly, I found my way to the hospital scheduling guru who indicated that the next MRI would not be available until APRIL!!! Just before I had time to completely flip out as it was only the middle of February, she said that there was one space that had just opened up for Monday, 3 days from then. I said, "we want that, whatever time, we want it!" She then uttered the words, "reference number". I informed her of what my doctor's office had informed me. She said, "no, sorry we need the number". I very assertively said, "I will call you right back, I promise; I'm calling our doctor's office and I will call you back with the number; my baby can't wait until April to find out what is growing on his head". The faceless woman which held my emotionally state in the palms of her hands said, "okay, but, if I don't hear back from you shortly I will have to give the appointment away to someone else".

I called Kalter's office back and asked to speak with the reference number oficianado. The receptionist said, "sorry she just left for lunch". I lost it. I told her who I was, as if she didn't already know by my sense of urgency, and preceded to tell her I needed someone to get me the reference number, "now!!!". She said, "Sorry, there's nothing I can do for she is the only one that handles that". I then launched into our predicament and told her, "that's not good enough, I need the reference number or we will be waiting until April to find out what is growing in our baby's head". She said I understand, "please hold". In the meantime, I turned the car around and was headed back to Kalter's office. She got back on the phone and apologized once again. I told her to tell me where the woman I needed so desperately went to lunch. She asked me to hold again. By the time she came back on the phone I was standing at her desk. She smiled at me and asked for the hospital number. I gave it to her. She called and told them our situation. After speaking to 3 different people she hung up and told me the hospital agreed to hold the appointment for us until the reference number goddess called.

By this point, I had learned my lesson. I told her to have someone call me as soon as the appointment was confirmed and the almighty number relayed. She agreed. I still didn't trust her and asked at what time she felt this would be done. She said it would be finished no later than 3pm adding that the office closed at 4pm. I told her I would wait until 3 and then I would be calling if I hadn't heard back.

By 3pm noone had called. I called the office and found out the number was given and the appointment was confirmed. The hospital also called to confirm our appointment for the next test on our 5 month old baby's head. We would need to wait through the weekend until Monday.

I've Got Good News and I've Got Bad News

Immediately following Jack's CT scan, we decided to take Jack to his favorite place, The Mall. I admit, I even like the mall now. We preceded to take Jack to all of his favorite stores. At the toy store, Susie and I played with all the toys while Jack watched his parents regress to just a little older than himself. Then it was on to the bookstore where we read all the latest books. Susie read to Jack while he gnawed on all the books. Susie and I decided we were hungry after the ridiculously traumatic day of seeing Jack undergo tests and decided to eat, finally.

Throughout the past 5 months, the one thing Susie and I have been able to consistently think positively about is the fact that Jack has been healthy. Suddenly, we have found ourselves worrying about, not only his health, but the potential of him having something as serious as a brain tumor. Deep down I was feeling like it was going to be a cyst which needed to be removed. Every time I look at Jack, I can't help but think, there's a monster in that little head. At the same time, I recognized the need to fake as if I was not worried at all. I foound that the only thing that made me feel better was playing with my baby boy.

We ate our lunch in the food court of the mall and set out to shop for socks. Jack wanted some new socks. Susie's phone rang and Dr. Kalter's office showed up on her cell phone display. We both stare at each other. She didn't get to the phone fast enough and it stopped ringing before she could answer. Upon checking the message, Dr. Kalter asked her to call back. I said to Susie, let's find a place to sit and call him back right away. I then stopped and thought out loud, it is not likely good news if they are calling back just a couple of hours after the scan. We didn't expect a call back until about 4 days. Susie realized this was true and called the office after we found the food court again and took a seat. I stared at Susie as she called the office. Kalter got on the phone and preceded to give Susie the news. Susie showed a faint smile and I heard her repeat, "that's good", smiling bigger and looking to me". I jumped up and squeezed Jack, ready to run around. Then I notice Susie's expression change and her voice moved to a slight quiver. "Okay, can I let you repeat all of that to my husband", she says looking confused and worried.

Dr. Kalter repeated everything he had said to Susie again to me. "What we were looking for was fluid on the brain and the good news is we didn't find that", pause. "What we did find is what appears to be something on the outside of the brain which may or may not be a cyst and it appears to possibly be putting pressure on the brain". I very calmly ask him what this means. He proceeds to tell me that the next step is to do an MRI in order to be more sure about where to go from here. Kalter tells me we need to get an appointment as soon as we can get one but indicates there is no immediate hurry. I then calmly indicate that we want to get this done in a hurry and I ask how we know there is no hurry. He then states, seeming possibly annoyed, that the reason there is no hurry is because there is no symptoms of brain damage at this time. I then begin to sound urgent. I ask him, how can we make this go faster? He replies that we can't. He indicates we need to pick up an order for the MRI from his office and then we can call and set up the MRI. I then ask somewhat panicked, "what can we do at this point? How worried should we be? We are both having a very difficult time with all of this". He then says, "there is nothing you can do and you should act with purpose but it is not an emergency at this point". I say okay and ask if we can pick up the order for the MRI immediately...he says it will be ready as soon as we want to pick it up. I hang up the phone.

The hope of this being over in one phone call is gone. It becomes apparent, we're in this for the long haul. We find our way out of the mall. Barely talking, I suddenly feel like I am in a long tunnel searching for the light at the end. I continue to smile and talk to Jack all the way out to our car. Susie and I decide to go straight to the Dr. office and get the order so we can schedule our next visit to our newfound friends at the hospital. As one might expect, it isn't going to be that easy to get an MRI, as the people who like to make our lives miserable decide to show back up again. Surely, there are secret meetings to make the Raskins crazy. However, at this point, I've lost every bit of care for myself and only want my baby to be okay. Jack continues to think everything is going better than normal as Susie and I are clearly dedicated to keeping him away from our anxiety, laughing with Jack is the coping mechanism of choice at this point.

ENTER THE MONSTER

Kalter is back in the spotlight. Jack goes to the doctor again, the Tuesday after Susie and I's weekend excursion. Expecting a routine check mixed with some painful immunizations, it was to our surprise when Kalter ordered a CT scan.

I could not go to the dr. appointment as we took the earliest available time in order to get the shots done well before Jack was due to spend time with his babysitter (Grammy Val) again. After the appointment, I called Susie to ask how things went. "It went okay...", she said with a bit of hesitation. She went on to say he got his shots and that went similar to last time with lots of screaming as one would expect. Then she added, "He wants him to get a Cat Scan to see why he has such a large head". Kalter had informed Susie that Jack's head was within the normal range for head size but was growing at a rate faster than the rest of his body which was a cause for mild concern and enough reasoning to do a CT scan.

I called the doc back and asked about the CT Scan after a day of letting it settle in. Was this serious? How concerned should we be? What are we looking for? Expecting to see? Kalter indicated that he was concerned. He added that we are looking for the reason as to why Jack's head is growing at a fast rate. I asked about what Susie had told me he had told her regarding his statement indicating he refers about 1 patient a month for a CT for the same thing and approximately 11 of those come back with need for concern.

Susie and I both researched the possibilities. We knew they were looking for Hydroencephalus, aka water on the brain. This condition is actually when spinal fluid builds up in a spot in the brain causing bulging of the skull. While not life threatening this condition can result in reduced mental capabilites and numerous complications. Further, the treatment involves an invasive procedure to place a shunt in the head to drain the fluid often resulting in infections and leading to numerous additional procedures. Other possibilities were much worse, too upsetting to even mention here. However, our hope was and I think our expectation was that they would find nothing...we both have big headed families.

Within 3 days, we had the CT Scan done. Even though Kalter said there was no hurry and we should just get it done within the next month, we wanted it done yesterday! Further, how did he know there was no hurry if he didn't know what the cause was?

The procedure was relatively easy for Jack. He simply had to lay in a bed while x-rays of his head were taken. I kept my hand on him and talked to him...smiling the whole time. Only one of us could go in with Jack; Susie waited in the lobby, alone.

Afterward, we ran out of the hospital and I told Jack I didn't want to go back so he better get control of his head immediately. Jack said, "00h, magadoo". Now I think that means, "go ahead and get used to it dad cause we're coming back".

Molds and Colds

Somewhere in here, beginning of January to early February, we discovered mold growing in our apartment. I sent a friendly letter to our complex management detailing the extent of the problem and asking them to get it checked. Normally, I would just ignore it but there was mold growing on Jack's pillow!!! We also found it around the windows, on the bathroom wall and on the door. Therefore, the letter. Our property manager wrote back with a letter indicating how to deal with mold. Susie then took over. Within a couple of days, the property manager had agreed to several reconstructive plans but not until she had no showed with Susie for several scheduled meetings and basically acted as if we were to blame.

I've never had feelings of persecution but at this point I started to wonder!!! Is the whole world against us?

My cold ended after Susie spent about 5 days taking care of Jack without much help from me. She is the best. She never complained. I went to work and went to bed each day until I got better.

The next weekend, the beginning of this month, we went to stay in a Disney Resort. We stayed at the Port Orleans and pretended we were actually in New Orleans. We went to Epcot and pretended we were travelling around the world together as we dream of frequently. We had a great time. While it was hard to be away from Jack (we woke up Sunday morning more than excited to get home) it was great to have some time away.



This picture was taken at Epcot and sent to Jack via e-mail which he could not open because...HE'S A BABY !!!!!



I began to feel like things were starting to get better. Jack was getting fun. He had started laughing all the time and seemed to truly be developing a real personality...still very particular but with the ability to turn it all around with a little two-toothed charm...he was working on his second tooth.

INSURANCE HELL AND WHY JACK COULDN'T GET TO A DOCTOR

Sometime in December...Susie went from a full-time counselor to a part-time supervisor. We figured that financially this made the most sense since it would cut back on both of our travel and gas expenses (thanks Mr. Bush and oil friends), would eliminate the need for us to start Jack in daycare (typically over $100 per week), and would allow her to eventually move into a private practice (we are trying to start a business--needless to say--we haven't gotten very far yet). The only real drawback, other than Susie having to leave the kids she counseled, was that the company we work for does not offer benefits to individuals working part-time. As a result, she would either have to move to my benefits or we would have to apply for private insurance.

Our insurance provider at the time was United. The company we work for had outsourced the management/human resource issues for employee benefits to a company specializing in handling this for other companies named Lassiter Ware. I decided to call over to Lassiter Ware and find out what it would cost to continue with Jack and Susie's insurance via COBRA. It was going to be somewhere in the range of $1600 a month. During the phone call, the woman I spoke to asked if I was aware that my insurance was due to reset at the 1st of the year despite our enrollment being in March for new insurance. In effect, this meant I would lose somewhere around $2000 in deductible monies paid out from January to March. Further, if Jack and Susie were to get on my plan, any money we paid during January to March would be lost as our deductibles would reset in March, potentially resulting in a loss of thousands of dollars if anyone was to get any major health issue. I promptly informed my supervisor who informed her supervisor which resulted in me meeting with the CEO of our agency. All the way to the top, our management was unaware of this issue. In fact, they argued that it was not true until I finally got them to speak to people that told them it was indeed true. Basically, our money was being stolen and it was arranged unknowingly by our own company execs. Suddenly the CEO and I were done talking. In fact, he simply stopped returning my e-mails and other attempts to correspond.

We decided to shop the market for private health insurance and found that we could save money going private based on the horrible benefits we receive through my company and the high monthly premiums (over $700 per month for a family of 3). However, we were informed that my company was negotiating a new plan with a different carrier, Aetna. However, the company indicated they would let me know when they could about the details of the new plan offers. Nearly a month went by.

Meanwhile, Jack was needing to go to the doctor due to poor eating habits, irritability, and needing his immunizations. One problem, he had no insurance. We applied privately while we waited to see if it would remain a better option than keeping with the company. About 2 1/2 weeks of waiting went by and we finally got word from the company. The benefit offers would not change. Finally, Jack had insurance. We scheduled a doctors appointment for the following week.

During this time, Jack got back to normal eating patterns and his sleep improved...he sprouted his first tooth!!!!!! We decided everything was okay and that all we had been concerned about were teething symptoms. Everyone was shocked at how early our little masticator was developing tuffems.

Insurance hell continued into the next few weeks as I was given improper, ill-informed information on several occasions by Lassiter Ware. At some point, the vice president of that company called to apologize for my experience but said they could not do what I was originally told they would do regarding my own insurance. The VP preceded to tell me it was partially my fault and that I needed to admit it. Without getting into details, the conversation did not go well from there. I was actually thinking of hiring a lawyer and told the VP of my intention. Then, I hung up!!! Two hours went by and I got an email. The email indicated that the high and mighty VP was willing to cover any and all of my out of pocket expenses until March regarding healthcare. I had won. I didn't want to play in the first place but in the end I won.

I was happy and Jack had a doctor's appointment.

Then I got sick, the day Susie and I were supposed to go stay in a resort for our first weekend without our boy. We cancelled for the next week.

BACK TO KALTER AND THE COLIC I SAID I WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT

...so we go through several months of impromptu doctors appointments attempting to navigate the formula issue/colic/who knows what. Only to finally settle on some formula that results in Jack being happy it seems. This coincided with him turning 3 months old, the so called magic number for babies with "colic". In any case the 1/2 a dozen scream fests per day, some as long as 2 to 2 1/2 hours long, finally tapered off. So did the fights with the bottle...Kalter told us (actually told Susie because he apparently thinks only she feeds him still---I began to wish I could surgically implant the bottles on my chest just to prove that I might be feeding our baby too)that babies are supposed to like to eat...well, noone told Jack. All the while, Susie and I felt, what if something is really wrong? Being a worrier, stop laughing those who think they know me, I thought we did pretty good. We just kept going like it would end someday and finally it did.

Somewhere in there, Jack was being driven 45 minutes each morning to his grandmother while Susie and I went to work. Then, after I finished working, I would drive 20 minutes to pick him up, spend 15 to 20 minutes attempting to pack him up to leave, and then get in the car to drive home which could take anywhere between 45 and 90 minutes depending on traffic. All the while, Jack screamed. Sometimes I felt like rolling down the windows so Jack could scream at the traffic. I thought, maybe they would just get out of the way. Then I remembered my sister saying, "I think it's cute when he cries". It doesn't seem to have the same effect unless you know your stuck and hear it all day and all night. My mother and father and Amy (the greatest free babysitter ever) all gained an appreciating for what we were going through during the month of babysitting which I'm sure felt like several years.

I said I wasn't going to discuss the colic but, oh well, it just came out. So 3 months later, an eye twitch (actually two, Susie got one as well, I'm not even kidding), and what seemed like 20 minutes of sleep since birth, Jack stopped crying. Well, not totally.

For the holidays, Jack got us a fully developed laugh. Finally, a reward for all of our hard work. And almost as quickly as things got better, guess who decided to get teeth? With all of the symptoms starting at under 4 months, we had our inconsolable, screaming little bundle of joy right back. At times, we thought, he must be sick. In fact, at one point I thought the kid must have something seriously wrong. He stopped eating regularly at times, cried when clearly hungry but refused to eat, and began waking in the middle of the night again, not even putting together a full 4 hours at a time any longer. This went back and forth for about a 2 weeks and then it just kind of stayed there. We decided it was time to go to the doctor, again.

That's when we entered Insurance Hell...also known as Lassiter Ware.

Let's talk about fathers for a second...

...what the hell have all of you men done to leave me with all of these misconceptions and socially prescribed schema. First of all, I feed my baby too, equally as often as Susie except when she is home and I am at work, due to her being part-time now. I also get up in the night, equally as often, change his diapers, equally as often, and kiss and hold him, equally as often. I give the baths, solely. I take him on walks, just the two of us. I never hand him off to Sue with the idea, "she's the mother" or "he must just want his mom". I go to all the doctor appointments and pick out clothes for him by myself. Further, I make dinner every night for my wife and I, except when we pick up dinner (mostly Boston Market as it is 1/2 a minute away) or eat out (mainly Baja Burrito).

Now to the point of all of this. I don't do any of these things because I'm trying to be a good father or husband, I do it because I have to, for Jack. Susie is no more responsible or capable of doing any of these things than I am, which is like complimenting myself because she is excellent at being our baby's mother.

With all of this said, it saddens me greatly that I constantly get comments or end up in situations or simply encounter things like these:

1. Before Jack was born I noticed most of the toys/baby things indicated that they were great help to "moms"...for instance the bouncer box indicated something to the effect that mom's love it, calling it, something to the effect of "mother's helper".

2. Kalter (our pediatrician)has, since the beginning and throughout, often looked at Susie when asking questions like, "how is he eating, behaving, sleeping". Even after I repeatedly answer his questions indicating I know too and have repeatedly changed him and held him in front of him.

3. Everyone, from friends to work colleagues, ask things like, "is Susie getting any sleep yet".

4. A woman at the school I work at asked when finding out Jack had a cold, "Is mom getting any sleep?"

5. Another work colleague asked when finding out we were going to be away from Jack for the weekend, "Is that going to be hard for mom?" seemingly assuming it was no big deal to me.

6. A friend of Susie asked her while visiting us while in another room, "Does he help out". According to Susie, it was obvious that she expected the answer to be no.

7. I can't tell you how many times people have looked at me strangely when seeing me alone with him or changing him.

8. There are very often no changing facilities in men's public bathrooms. I have never seen another man using one of them...even before I became a father!

Most of the experiences are more subtle, like simply looking to Susie for answers to very basic questions rather than me. While that seems to have changed with the people who know us well, it still occurs often with those that don't, like at the grocery store or at a restaurant. This is reinforced by the absence of fathers visibly out with their babies. Take a look at the proportion of men with babies out and about by themselves to women with babies out and about by themselves. This is even the case on a Sunday when the majority of men and women are off of work. I would say that it is somewhere around 10 to 1 if not greater, ratio of women to men by themselves, with babies in any public place.

This idea that women are more nurturing then men by their very nature may have some merit from a biological/hormonal perspective, but, I believe this is very minimal if not altogether insignificant. In fact, I think the whole thing is socially constructed so men throughout history could rid themselves of this responsibility, not consciously for most but very much on purpose for many. However, most men neglect to share these duties equally sighting biological differences as their excuse. Further, it is now supported by society at large, in magazines, advertisements, media, and generally by individuals of society, both men and women alike. Everything supports this dynamic to stay in place. The only way it will change is if the men that aren't pretending to be incapable speak up and talk about it. Maybe eventually, the norms will change if it becomes acceptable to be a nurturing man. For christ sake, it's a baby...what is so intimidating about showing some "femininity" when it comes to your freaking child?!?! Funny thing is, I can feel my adrenaline/testosterone pumping just writing this. Ironic that I feel liking kicking the crap out of the very men that are so hellbent on being "manly fathers". Fuck you and the religious dogma you use to support your arguments!!!

I'm not at all interested in receiving kudos for doing what I should be doing. More than anything, I want Jack to grow up valuing women. This issue alerts me to the challenges that lay ahead regarding gender roles and the malady which has infected our cultural ideas of mothers and fathers. I don't think I'm a better father, just a father who is getting the full experience of being a father. Therefore, Jack is getting the full experience of me being a dad absent of social convention. Further, perhaps this will help lead to a little boy who will grow up respecting women and empower him to break from the masculine stereotypes of "how a man is supposed to be". Maybe this will help make his life a little more fulfilling and perhaps contribute to making the world a bit more bearable, if for noone else, at least for him and his kids someday.

If you don't believe in my argument, I suggest you travel to Asia or even many European countries. You will frequently see men holding hands with their kids. You will see men playing with kids. Most of all, you will see men kissing, hugging, and supervising their children, all in the absence of their mothers. Good luck finding that on any given Sunday, here in the U.S.. In India you even see little boys holding hands with other little boys and hugging just to hug, not because they have learned that this is okay but because that they have never learned that it is not okay. It is in their very nature. Makes you wonder what the impact of taking that out of our homegrown boys is. My theory...violent crimes, domestic abuse, depression, body mutilation, sexual dysfuntions, the list goes on and on.

So Jack was born.

Everything was just how we expected and worse. He cried non-stop for what seemed to be 2 months straight. Then it slowed but only after changing formulas several times, treating him for gastro-reflux, and basically watching him suffer helplessly.

Susie and I struggled with our new lifestyle as parents. We became addicted to Dr. Phil, Bridezillas, and I'm Just Being Bobby Brown. Susie cried alot and I cussed at the bottles, the cat, the baby, the cars that moved to slow in front of me everyday to and from work, and some man at the grocery store that moved to the next available check out when the store clerk asked, "next in line", and he beat me there because...I WAS THE NEXT IN LINE!!! Funny thing is, he was about 150 lbs. heavier than me despite my newfound 20 lbs. and very mean looking with a voice that resonated somewhere in the depths of satans bowels it seemed. I told him he was rude and he told me, "that's your opinion". I said, "no, it is a fact", proceeding to recap the event that just took place in case he was unaware of what had happened. After stating again, "that's your opinion", he left and then I told the store clerk, a Napoleon Dynamite look-alike, "this is actually your fault for not telling him I was next". He apologized and looked very scared but I think he was scared all of the time not because of this particular incident at hand. Basically, through my red colored lenses of anger, the world was in my way as I attempted to stumble home to cook dinner, feed my baby, commiserate with my wife of less than a year about freedom lost, and attempt to pause our cerebellums with our t.v. shows of choice.

I've decided not to describe Jack in detail regarding the "colic" era knowing full well I cannot capture it fully. Noone can. You have to live it! This is proven by all the books, magazines, blogs, etc., I have read. If you think your baby had "colic", consider these things first, did you want to die, did you want to kill, did you want to disappear, did you cry, did you think you were the victim of a very evil, sinister plan of which you could never recover or gain control...if your answer is a resounding, Amen brother, then maybe your baby had colic. If your baby cried alot...shut the hell up!!!!!

DR. KALTER

My wife and I set up an interview with Kalter in order to run through the list of questions I had printed off the internet, "Important Things To Ask Your Pediatrician". When calling to set up the interview, Kalter answered the phone himself. I was pleasantly surprised that a doctor would answer his office phone directly. Did this mean he was outside the medical norm of power yielding men who typically roam the hospitals and doctor's offices I have previously encountered? Or, was it chance and due to the fact that his office staff were all out sick or out to lunch. Or, did it mean his office staff was incompetent as well as himself, leading to him being the only one available to answer the phones on that day. At the time, I thought the first two but now, 6 months later a think the last one. I'll get to why soon.

The interview went well I guess. I asked my questions which he answered and appeared to think it were somewhat of an annoyance but tolerable. Kalter is man probably in his mid to late 60's. He has been a practicing pediatrician for over 30 years. He is of the extreme nearsighted like myself. He has very thick glasses and appears to strain through what almost looks like two lazy eyes. He has hair coming from his nose and ears as if to indicate he doesn't spend much time on his physical appearance. The kind of thing you expect from a childhood prodigy. His hair combs from one side to the other in mixture of gray and what was probably strawberry blonde at one time. If he was to order a drink in a bar it would probably be a glass of house wine but possibly a scotch, call brand.

During the entire interview, Kalter seemed as if he was looking for a way to sell himself and not have to actually participate in an actual interview. In other words, he didn't take the route one might expect like trying to get to know us while listening a bit to our story or making a few jokes. Instead, he answered my questions, while intermittently interupting to offer some free stuff, such as, coupons, a diaper bag, and other STUFF. He has this sort of laugh that says, "I am a bit uncomfortable with all of this but I want to be your friend", like the smartest kid in high school offering a pretty girl some of his Cheetos and she says yes. He spoke directly to Susie, my wife nearly the entire interview. At some point we received a short lecture that the most important thing we could do for our baby is relax and let things happen, saying something like, "he will be born and then he will do what he is supposed to do and you will do what you are supposed to do" but not exactly.

I left feeling a bit strange about him but not turned off. In fact, he struck me as odd, something I grown to like a great deal these days about people. I also continued to like the fact that initially he answered his phone when I called. I liked that he gave us free stuff too. Ultimately, the decision was made the moment we walked in though. Susie was extremely pregnant and was at the point of indifference when it came to anything outside of getting the tenant that occupied the efficiency unit in her ute evicted. I realized this and was ready to be done with one more thing and we decided in the car in about 30 seconds after leaving the interview, Kalter would be the baby's doc.

A couple of days later my wife received a thank you card for coming in to meet Dr. Kalter, addressed only to her and our unborn baby.

A MONSTER AT THE END OF THIS BOOK

One of my favorite books when I was a kid was A Monster At The End Of This Book where Grover spends the entire book obsessing about a monster that it turns out isn't there at all. In fact, the monster is him! Well, my baby boy has what appears to be a monster in his head and I'm hoping this story ends the same as that book I read so many years ago.

Last week, my son Jack was sent to get a CT scan of his brain due to the rate at which his skull was growing. While his head is large, it is actually the growth rate that alerted the pediatrician, Dr. Zane Kalter, that there may have been a problem.

We found our pediatrician via the information superhighway. Somewhere in the midst of the end of my wife's 3rd trimester we became aware that it was a good idea to have a doctor to "trim the turkey" off our babies unmentionables the day after he was born. We actually met with Dr. Kalter about two weeks before Jack was born. Kalter graduated from NYU top of his class in the 60's I believe; he also attended a very prestigious New York High School for geniuses. I know this because I wanted to know every detail about the man I could find before stepping into his office. This is the way I am now. I trust noone. I think everyone is out for themselves. In fact, I think people are evil or at the very least selfish. Therefore, I needed to find out more about this Zane character before allowing him near our baby's tackle.

To be continued...