Susie and Jack and The Return of the Monster

It's almost time to check on the monster. Three months have past since we found out about the cyst residing in Jack's head. While it doesn't effect my day, I must admit, I do think of it everyday on numberous occasions when looking at him. It's almost time for the follow-up MRI and I'm not looking forward to it.

Jack has been doing great. He has somewhere around 7 teeth now, laughs hysterically all the time, says mama and dada, scoots but does not quite crawl yet (to our delight), eats Cheerios on his own, and sits around being extremely cute. No signs of the cyst other than the extra large noggin. The other night, however, while trying or not trying to fall asleep, depending on who's perception, Jack began banging his head on the side of the crib. The banging lasted for about 1 minute and was not very hard. Susie and I, of course, immediately began thinking, "oh no, what if it's brain damage". He stopped banging and we stopped ruminating. It is impossible not to think this way. In fact, I feel we would be neglectful not to think this way. We have not called our doctors, we have not researched the possibilities any further, we haven't even talked about it much other than the occasional dread related to the upcoming set of doctor's appointments.

Here's what will be happening: On May 19th, Jack will got to the hospital for an MRI with contrast. This means they will be knocking him out again, injecting dye into his brain to enhance the images, and putting him through the MRI machine. He cannot eat or drink anything the night before the procedure or the day of the procedure itself. Needless to say, it will not be an easy day for him. When the actual procedure is done, he will be taken from us for around 45 minutes and returned, likely unconscious. Then he will wake up to us in a tiny little recovery room where we will wait until the drugs wear off and feed him and finally go home.

Five days later, we meet with the neurologist to find out the results of the MRI. This is when we find out if the cyst has grown, shrunk, stayed the same, whether it is or is not having an effect on his brain, whether or not we will be doing brain surgery now or later or never or possibly that we will simply be following up with another MRI in a few more months. Best case scenario, the cyst sponaneously disappeared; worst case scenario, it has grown and is causing enough pressure on the brain to warrant surgery and drainage of the cyst and need for a shunt(an antiquated drainage device) to be placed in Jack's head, with likely further surgeries needed later in life due to the likelihood of the cyst returning.

As I already stated, Jack is doing great. At this point, if not for his rapid head growth over 3 months ago, we wouldn't even know there was a cyst in there. It's hard to take your well adjusted, normal developing, otherwise healthy, 8 month old baby to a place where they will drug him, expose him to heaps of radiation, and then return him with no concrete reason for doing all of this in the first place. Further, forcing him to fast will also seem cruel as a parent. However, I feel lucky that he is symptom free to date and we are taking him in like this rather than with fears of symptoms related to progressive brain damage.

Yesterday, Susie and I went to my sister's variety show. There, I ran into several people I hadn't seen more than once since Jack was born, none of which I know very well. Many of them said, "We haven't seen you in awhile...where have you been...how's Jack...didn't he have some sort of health issue with his head?" Nice. Well said. It's always a good idea to ask someone about an unknown health issue with their baby in a public gathering...especially when you don't know them well and have no idea if the issue is resolved or still ongoing. Susie and I didn't even tell them in the first place. I suppose they found out through the grapevine which is fine as you would think they would have the common sense not to ask about it, much less, ask about it in that sort of situation with the expectation that everythings all better. I suppose people just want to believe the best.

This is precisely why I blog about this...this and the fact that it is cathartic. If you are reading this, you are likely someone close enough to our family that we want you to know the status of Jack. Further, we know that you all are concerned and wondering where things are at with regard to the monster. Thanks for being sensitivity to Susie and I. Our family and friends, likely you if you're reading this, have done a great job of not asking and waiting for updates.