What the hell is with men at urinals in public bathrooms? For those of you that aren't privvy to the urinal experience...many men like to lean on the wall or flusher while they relieve. During this leaning event, some of them like to grunt or even let out a low, howl. Ask any honest man and he is sure to tell you that this is true unless of course he is a howler or grunter. Even worse are the sounds coming from the closed stalls...I don't want to get gross (or have I already) but the noises that come out of the stalls are even worse. Who are these men that sound as if they are giving birth at Carrabbas Italian Grill? Do they do that at home or are they marking their territory? I suppose they can't help it or why would they do it. Is it a sign of masculinity learned in I'm A Man Hear Me Grunt, Moan, Wail, and Howl 101 at AARP meetings. Funny thing is, if in there with a friend, family member, or acquaintance, no one ever makes a peep. It's always strangers somewhere between the ages of 40 and 105.
Also, who are the people writing the graffiti? Where are their pens and pencils? How is it that I've never walked in on someone in mid sentence or genital drawing? What happens if you call the phone numbers on the wall? Perhaps you really will have a good time? I know that women like to write weird things on their walls when they have had one or two or twelve too many but men seem to do it completely sober with every intention of expressing anything from sexual frustration to religious conviction to anger release.
Note to self: write a book about the Psychology of Bathroom Behavior and get rich or simply spend entirely too much time in bathrooms...likely the latter
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