Jack and Tiffany and Easterly Comments

Apparently Jack likes stained glass and especially giant cathedral sized stained glass. This weekend we wandered into a museum in Winter Park that had free admission due to it being Easter Sunday. Susie, Jack, and I, along with two friends, Stef and Jason, took Jack to see what was inside. We found a strange museum filled with a huge collection of stained glass on display. Jack decided to sing songs for each piece depending on how the colors and there meticulous arrangements inspired him. He developed a very gothic sounding song named, "I Got Your Ooooh and Your Ahhh Right Here Jesus!" while wandering through model chapel decorated with a glass chandelier created by Tiffany himself. Anyway, I guess Jack will like Europe so if anyone wants to purchase him a trip to Europe for his birthday I think he would like that, oh, and his parents would need to go along as chaperones as he is still very young and likely to get into trouble without us.

Side note regarding Easter, a.k.a. "Zombie Day", if I may borrow a phrase coined by one of my readers who will remain anonymous unless of course she chooses to claim it; I was reminded this weekend of the marginilizing powers of religion when I told the story of my early experiences with Catholicism and Judaism to our friends Stef and Jay. The story goes something like what follows:

At around 6 or 7 years of age, I would frequently attend Catholic church with my neighbor and his family, willingly! The reason I wanted to attend had very little to do with the entertaining services and everything to do with the free donuts immediately following services. Somehow this was worth the strange feelings of alienation provoked by sitting in the pews while "real" Catholics took communion. Often, my sister Sunny and I were left sitting in an aisle all alone like abandoned children by those "going to heaven". We knew that this had something to do with us not being Catholic, and, therefore, we were going to hell in everyone elses eyes. This never seemed to bother anyone in the church as no member of the church nor clergyman ever took the time out to either console or explain any of this to us. We just figured it out...we were doomed because our father was Jewish.

Meanwhile, my grandfather would ask my father if Sunny and I wanted to attend Temple services with him and my grandmother. My father would tell us that we were going without any choice in the matter and would then send us with our grandparents. The forcing was necessary as there were no donuts in Temple and I had to dawn a yamaka each and every time I went and was not going to go voluntarily, ever! At temple, Sunny and I were always the youngest in attendance by at least 40 years. Each and every time we went, I dreaded the inevitable comment that sounded something like this sarcastically toned, "Look at the cute little German kids", hands reaching out from all directions to pinch our cheeks and pat our bleach blonde heads or hold us like we were dolls from their childhood. Then someone in the crowd always said, "Is their mother Jewish or their father?", followed by sighs and coughs and an "oh well" when my grandparents disappointedly would respond, "their father". Suddenly, all eyes shifted to the Tora as we were no longer worthy of attention. Fact is we are part German on my mother's side and certainly not German Jew. I knew this meant we weren't Jewish and definitely not Catholic. I guess this is how the Unitarian Church was eventually formed...I don't think they serve donuts but I think you could bring your own and noone would mind.

I guess what I learned from all of this as a child is how to spell the words Yamaka, from Judaism, and Pew, from Catholicism. I looked them up to see if I spelled them correct and I did. Thanks priests and rabbis. However, I did not go to temple enough apparently to learn how to spell Tora correctly as it is Torah.

Note to Jack, "stay golden pony boy". It's gonna got a little weird. Maybe not just a little.