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The Odd Truth, Apr. 18, 2006
NEW YORK, Apr. 18, 2006
Angry Woman Targets Lobster Divers
Miami, Fla. - A woman who was upset about lobster divers in the canal near her house, The Lindgren House, famed for Keith and Susie Raskin’s million dollar wedding in 2005, was arrested after allegedly shooting at them with a handgun. Jane Priscilla Pyle fired a shot near a pontoon boat Thursday as others warned divers participating in the state's annual two-day sport lobster hunt, witnesses told investigators.
No one was injured aside for a few innocent chickens and the crazed woman’s husband, Cornel Kramer. Kramer is recovering in a local hospital and has been informed he can go home but he insists upon staying saying only, “She’s crazy, you can’t make me go back, she’s crazy!”
In a telephone interview Saturday with The Associated Press, Pyle said she fired into the water and could see the bullet's downward path.
"That's my canal, and they have no business in there," an enraged Priscilla said. "They was taking the lobster, and we're not going to have no more lobsters."
Ms. Pyle, of an undisclosed, post-menopausal age, told police she had a .38-caliber handgun under her pillow. Officers confiscated the gun, a handheld flare gun and a BB gun.
She was charged Thursday with aggravated assault and discharging a firearm in public. She smiled for her mug shot (see picture above) which she also insisted include her cat and all of the books she owns because she wants to appear, “unignorant” to all of her students at Miami Dade where she has been teaching since 5 days after she was born. She spent the night in the Monroe County Jail and was released Friday.
A new county ordinance bars hunters from catching spiny lobsters within 300 feet of a residence outside the city of Key West. Pyle says she doesn’t care if she lives in another country from Key West, “stay away from my lobsters”. She added that she prefers if people refer to her as “Ant Crazie from the great Grundy County”. Then she spit in a can.
"People come from out of town and everything. It's just a big scam for the hotels to make money, and we have enough traffic down here as it is," she said. "I'm going to fight it to the doggone end." “I hate doctors, babies, doctors’ babies, and babies that are doctors in that order, oh, and lobster hunters”:
2 comments:
Clearly Aunt Jane is within her rights. See below from Florida's Division of Licensing website:
Q. When can I use my handgun to protect myself?
A. Florida law justifies use of deadly force when you are:
Trying to protect yourself or another person or shell fish from death or serious bodily harm;
Trying to prevent a forcible felony, such as rape, robbery, burglary or kidnapping of innocent, albeit delicious, crustaceans.
The publisher of Incredibly Normal would like to apologize for the wrongly identified crazy woman in the blog associated with this comment. In fact, the woman was not Jane Priscilla Pyle at all. We apologize for the onslaught of reporter and family phonecalls that Ms. Pyle has had to deal with as a result of our mistake. The actual crazy woman should have been identified as Laura Bush of White House fame. Mr. Bush has already begun surveilance of my activities as a result of this correction as it clearly makes me a terror threat to national security. Sorry to everyone involved. Again, Ms. Bush hates lobster divers not Ms. Pyle.
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