The People of Lake Crest (Our Neighbors)

I'm sitting in the bedroom, at the computer, Friday evening. Susie is feeding Jack dinner and getting ready to put him to bed as we start her Birthday Weekend as I was informed by her that when a birthday falls on the weekend then you get a "birthday weekend". Anyway, as I sit here the neighbor is walking his dog, Snowball.

Snowball is a little curly haired, poodlish dog...I'm not good with dog breads. Snowballs dad, the man that walks Snowball, is a recovering alcoholic and born-again who enjoys "helping people"...code for missionary work. Anyway, everyday Snowball's dad walks her while talking in very high pitched dog language. He does not wear a shirt so everyone can see his ex-beer gut. He's overweight by quite a few pounds and is balding with quite a few gray hairs and more chest hair than myself...that's a great deal of chest hair. He's probably in his late 50's to early 60's but maybe older. He is...jovial...you might say. His little khaki shorts barely hang on to his lower half as he meanders in front of our windows and walks the dog in the grass next to the lake we live on. The picture would be shocking if I hadn't seen it already 100 times.

Recently, Snowball's dad has made friends with the womam from the other side, known as, the lady in the pit from Silence of the Lambs that "puts the lotion in the basket". Not only does this woman resemble the woman from that movie but she also has an identical dog to Snowball and the dog in the movie, white and poodly, named Precious...like the dog in Silence of the Lambs!!!

Some other people in our complex are, the couple in their 20's next door including a man from Virginia that cheats on and I suspect knocks around his girlfriend, a couple in their late 30's upstairs who is very nice even when they are giving our bed a shower with their washing machine, and an old lady we've named "Peanut Butter" because she walks around chewing food and talking with her mouth open allowing us to see what always resembles, you guessed it, the butter of peanuts. This woman I might add has lived here for almost 50 years. For the longest time she would ask, "Do you like it here?" We always said yes but wondered why she kept asking this until in conversation we found out she has lived here since The War, raised kids here, and lost her late husband here as well. Now we know why she was so concerned that we like it here...this is her place! Speaking of Peanut Butter, there she goes. She always wears a moo-moo (Susie says it is mu-mu and she knows this because she has "read alot of books") around the complex with slippers and always says, "hello", in what sounds like a German accent. I like her. I even enjoy talking to her. Those of you that know me well know this is not a regular thing, for me to enjoy talking to people.

Other neighbors include, Squirrel Friend...named by Jack. He lives all by himself in the giant oak tree outside our window. There's also Hermee...a boy who came to our house once and convinced me to buy a stuffed animal to support his Christian Academy. He was determined to sell me Hermee, the worm, even though I wanted to buy Buzby. Apparently Buzby represents Satan as he warned me that I shouldn't buy him because he sins alot. He asks whenever I see him, "has Hermee been to your school yet?" and "do you use him?". Truth is I don't even know where he is but I always tell him yes. Meanwhile, Hermee, the boy not the stuffed animal, is typically falling off his bike on the sidewalk screaming and telling me that he always falls in the same place. He better pray more I suppose!

These are the people that we live with, not exactly Melrose Place. Next time maybe I'll tell you about some of our other neighbors, including, Nutella, Jelly, and Apple Butter, the girl that only wears one skirt all of the time, and the man who plays music from WWII across the lake every Sunday while burning sticks.

We like it here and hope we don't get kicked out by the Republican owners...