Okay...I had written along rant about our weekend and how difficult Jack was and how hard our life is and how I'm sooooo tired and then, I erased it. I don't want to complain.
What I do want is some honest antecdotal opinions about what YOU think about being the parent of a baby. I don't want the sugar coated answers like, "it's all worth it", or, "it's hard but could be worse", or "each time I look in her eyes all the difficult stuff just goes away". I want the truth. Do you like your life as a parent of a baby? Not, do you like your baby or would you rather have your old life back. I for one would never even remotely consider giving up my life now for my old life and assume most of you wouldn't either. But, that does not mean I enjoy the grind of parenting a baby. I'm attempting to navigate through this myth that being a parent of a baby is some magical, ridiculously fulfilling time period. When, in my experience, it's a motherload of work and a roller coaster of emotions.
Quite honestly, I can't wait until the babyhood is over and the kiddom begins. Let me hear you out there in blogville. What do you really think about it? Again, please don't say any cliches, like, "you'll miss it when it's gone". I'm looking for real experiences, feelings in the moment, not wisdom and realizations after the fact. I already miss Jack's littleness but I certainly don't miss the colic days and never want those back despite many saying that I would.
By the way...if you can't already tell...Susie and I are the proud parents of an extremely loved and wonderful ONLY CHILD!!!
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Anyone who reads my blog already knows where I'm at with this... but what the hell, I'll comment anyway.
No! I don't particularly enjoy being the parent of a baby. I enjoy my baby and love him, but I don't enjoy carrying him around when he doesn't feel like crawling/ walking, dealing with the tantrums, feeding him every couple of hours, playing with him all the time, trying to teach him things all the time, changing his diapers while he screams, whispering after 8:00pm in fear that I'll wake him up... well, you get the idea.
I really am starting to thing that maybe you and I just do not enjoy this and that a lot of people do. Well, either that or... Some are lying because they think it makes them a bad person to say that it sucks sometimes and then some really just love it.
You know what I love? Four year olds.
Maybe if we had more free time, more babysitters, easier jobs, more money, whatever, I don't know, it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe if Jack was a more laid back, easier baby, who knows? I don't want to complain about the hard things in our lives, either. As far as I'm concerned, we're the luckiest people I know. But...
All I know is that at the end of every day I am overwhelmed, exhausted, and frustrated. I know there's really no end in sight... Jack's only thirteen months old. It's hard and rarely fun.
I don't regret having Jack, but I do miss my old life. It's simple. I was having more fun, I had more time, I had more money, I had a job I liked a lot... what's not to like/ miss about that?
I definitely do not want to have any more kids and completely understand when people choose to go childless. Of course, they're missing out on an amazing experience that you can never even really explain to those who don't have kids, but... I still understand when people say... "uh, no thanks".
Why am I typing all this anyway... I am preaching to the choir. I'm just so grateful that we are on the same page, that we love each other and our boy and that eventually we'll get through this and one day, he'll be four.
Did I mention I love four year olds?
Now I just looked at his cute little face and feel guilty about everything I said. But, I still mean it.
I THINK IT'S THE HARDEST JOB YOU'LL EVER LOVE! HAHAH, sorry I could not resist.
Someone once told me something to the effect of, "Parenting a child forces you to live the way you *should* live." Not to say at all that you can't have a fulfilling life w/o any little brats of your own, not at all.
I just interpreted it to mean that our children are what make us look the hardest (and the most honestly) at ourselves. I just think that is so so cool. Just by merely existing, they hold us accountable for everything we say/do. Wow. Pressure!
But I love it, I really do. It's so difficult, but I'm starting to not even remember the details. Dane was supremely fussy as an infant and still exerts his will many, many times a day. But he's such a cool little person, a *real* person more and more every day. It's just awesome!
Which I don't think is too much sugar-coating. It is what it is. My emotions run the gamut every day, as a stay at home mom. Joy, frazzlement, extreme mind-crushing boredom... it's worth it.
... and we're going to do it all at least ONCE more! Aaaaaah it's going to be insanity x 2. Check back in with me in a year, I just may have a different opinion, hahaha! If I'm even still coherent by then... ugh!
Okay, so basically, my wife understands. Littlejeans loves it, even when it sucks...without the cliche feel to it. Everyone else avoided the question alltogether, probably because they are afraid to comment as they too probably love it and they don't want to make us feel bad. So, in the end, it is confirmed. We are the only two parents that can't stand baby parenting despite loving our baby.
Yeah... I guess so. I truly thought I would feel like Littlejeans, back when I was pregnant. But I don't. Although, I get what you're saying, LJ, and watching them grow is amazing. Maybe in a year, LJ will have gone off the deep end and I'll be finally getting it together. Who knows...
Haha... I don't know, everyone is different. I find I feel better about the whole process when I give myself A LOT of credit when things go well, and don't harp on the things I feel inadequate about. Just turning it around in my head and letting go of the OMG THIS IS SO HARDDDDDD thoughts whenever I can. I still bitch, though, plenty! But I don't let it take up too much space in my brain.
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